By Tyomi Morgan

In my work as a sensual fitness coach I've encountered messages and comments from millions of women globally who have an issue or two with being on top. Cowgirl position is a favorite of many, but for the rider on top the challenges are abound. Burning thighs, tight hips, aching knees, tiring quickly and feeling awkward in motion are just a few of the complaints I've collected over the years in my practice. You're not alone if any of these issues resonate with you. In fact, people with vulvas around the world share the same complaints. There is no need to worry, however, because there are solutions for each of those pain points. I've pinpointed five core things that you can implement into your sexual health practices to improve your riding skills right now!

1. Stretch and warm up before climbing on top
You're going to be stiff If you've been sitting for most of your day with little movement or stretch breaks. Hopping on top to have your way will feel more comfortable if you set aside time to warm up and stretch before straddling your partner. Take a minimum of ten minutes to perform lower body stretches like sitting toe touches, butterfly stretches and side bends. These are a few of the stretches that help release tension in the major muscles that support your ride (hamstrings, quads, hip flexors and psoas). Doing a set of pelvic isolation movements like hip circles, thrusts and pelvic swings can help to warm up the muscles in the pelvic floor, glutes and lower back. Pelvic movement also facilitates blood flow, which is needed to awaken the clitoris and begin the process of engorging the erectile tissues responsible for producing orgasms. I teach these classes in my online community.

2. Create space between your pelvises
The space between pelvises is necessary for the cowgirl position to feel pleasurable for both partners. Sitting all of your weight down will create a scooting motion, and that isn't a ride at all. Sure, the clitoral head can experience some pressure and friction, which would be pleasurable to the rider, but your partner will miss out on a proper stroke. In order to get a proper ride, you will need to create anywhere from 1-3 inches of space between your pelvises depending on the length of his of the penis. The goal is to feel the vagina gilding up and down the shaft. As I always tell my clients, "If it's not a glide, it's not a ride ™". You can create space by leaning forward slightly and placing your hands on the bed over your partner's shoulders, or on their chest. You should feel your thighs grip your partner's body slightly when creating this space because you're creating a slight hover.

3. Lift and lower your hips
The motion in a proper ride comes from the isolation of your hips tilting forwards and backwards in a lifting and lowering to move up and down the shaft of the penis. Isolating the hips focuses on movement of the pelvis and utilizes the lower abdominal muscles, gluteal muscles and psoas muscles along with several ligaments. Learning how to isolate the hips requires strength training to develop the muscles that support the movement, and repetitious practice to establish muscle memory. Strength training in one of the pillars of The Cowgirl Workout™

4. Take deep, slow breaths
Holding the breath while on top or taking shortened breaths can cause the pelvic floor muscles to tighten and create an anxious internal state for the body where riding. This can cause you to become tired quickly and give up altogether. Taking slow, deep breaths can help the body and mind enter into 'rest and digest' mode and help you take more strokes in a shorter amount of time. Your ride will be extended because the body is learning how to "relax in movement." Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Take your time and breathe into your diaphram to experience more oxygen intake.

5. Create angles with your hips
The vagina is angled towards the posterior pelvis. Cowgirl positions that create angles with the pelvis are typically more pleasurable than the traditional lying/straddle position. Try having your partner bend their knees and place their feet flat on the bed to create an angle with their pelvis, or sit up near the headboard to make straddling easier. Riding in a chair or on a couch also provides more support for an easier stroke.

Cowgirl position is one that provides the highest form of pleasure to people with vaginas because YOU HAVE THE POWER! Climbing on top and getting the proper ride does take work, but it's an investment well paid I the pursuit of pleasure. Need help hopping into the saddle? Join me in my online community.