By January Nelson

1. You can’t control what happens to you. But you’re in control of your own actions. That means you should do your best to cope with a bad situation. It might not be fair. It might not be fun. And it might not be your fault. But it’s your responsibility to deal with whatever life throws at you.

2. You’re going to get through this. Whenever you go through a rough time, you’re proving to yourself how much you can handle. You might feel like you aren’t going to get through your struggles right now — but you’ve felt that way in the past and have proven yourself wrong. Every time something unfortunate happened to you, you’ve made it through. And you will again.

3. You don’t have to see the silver lining. Too much positivity can be toxic. Sometimes, shitty things happen. There’s no real reason for them, and there’s nothing to learn from them. If remaining positive helps you get through the bad times, that’s great — but don’t force positivity when you’re sad. You’re allowed to be upset when something horrible happens to you. Let yourself feel those feelings. Don’t push them away or invalidate them.

4. You’re not the only one who is experiencing pain. Even though you might feel like no one around you understands what you’re going through, there are plenty of people out there who do. You aren’t alone in your pain. You aren’t going through this alone, even if it feels that way right now.

5. You can make a change at any time. You can’t change your partner, but you can change your relationship status. You can’t change your boss, but you can change your career. You can’t change your town, but you can change the place you choose to call home. If you’re unhappy where you are, you’re capable of changing things. You have more agency than you realize.

6. When it rains, it pours. When one thing goes wrong, you’re going to be hyperaware of everything else that goes wrong in the aftermath. You’re already primed to be upset. Plus, when you’re expecting things to go wrong, you can sometimes cause that thing to happen. For example, if you’re assuming someone is going to treat you poorly and enter the conversation by treating them poorly, then they probably aren’t going to be in the best mood.

7. No one is perfect. Even if you are to blame for something going wrong in your life, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You’re allowed to screw up — as long as you take responsibility for your actions. Apologize when you’ve hurt someone. And try to be more mindful in the future.

8. Nothing worth having is easy. It’s hard to reach your dreams. It’s hard to make friends. It’s hard to make a relationship work. It’s hard to save up money. It’s hard to find a house. Whatever you’re trying to achieve probably isn’t easy, so be gentle with yourself. If you keep trying, you’ll get what you want one day.

Originally Published: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2021/08/8-reminders-when-things-keep-going-wrong/