Ah, fall. The leaves are turning, the air is crisp, pumpkin spice is making its annual comeback, and cuffing season is upon us. Yes, my friends, we’ve entered that magical time of year when the temperature drops, and suddenly, the urge to hibernate with a special someone becomes a top priority. It’s not about finding “the one,” but rather “the one for now”—because, let’s be honest, no one wants to face the cold alone.

For those unfamiliar, cuffing season is the time-honored tradition of finding a temporary mate to snuggle with through the colder months, only to amicably part ways when spring and its warm weather (and single life) return. But beware, cuffing season is not for the faint of heart. It requires strategy, preparation, and, most importantly, the ability to keep things just casual enough without catching feelings.

Ready to dive in? Let’s break down the rules of cuffing season.

1. Make Your Home an Inviting Den of Warmth
Your home is your cuffing headquarters. You’ve got to make it inviting, cozy, and, most importantly, a place someone wants to spend entire weekends hunkered down in. Think throw blankets, mood lighting, and a couch that says, “Yes, we can stay in all weekend.”

Don’t underestimate the power of seasonal candles. Nothing says “you’re welcome to stay a while” like the scent of “Warm Apple Crisp” or “Autumn Wreath” wafting through the air. Your goal is to create a space so inviting that your cuffing partner has no reason to leave.

Pro tip: Keep the thermostat in check. Too cold and they’re out; too warm and they’ll pass out. You’ve got to find the Goldilocks zone here.

2. Stock Up on Proper Beverages and Snacks
Nothing kills a cuffing vibe faster than an empty fridge. If you’re serious about surviving cuffing season, you need to have the right provisions on hand. The essentials? Red wine (to warm the soul), hot cocoa (for those Hallmark movie marathons), and coffee (for the morning-after awkward small talk).

Snacks should be easy to share and indulgent. Think charcuterie boards, popcorn, and of course, something sweet for late-night munchies. Bonus points if you have a secret stash of seasonal treats like pumpkin-flavored everything. Remember, keeping your cuffing partner well-fed ensures they’ll stay well-cuffed.

3. Always Have a Go-To Movie on Deck
Cuffing season isn’t just about cuddling, it’s also about mastering the art of the perfect lazy day in. And that, my friends, means having a solid lineup of movies ready to go at all times. You need to have a mix—something funny to break the ice, something dramatic to stir the emotions (but not too much), and something nostalgic to bond over.

Skip the rom-coms—unless you’re ready to face the “so, what are we?” conversation. Stick with classics or low-commitment series that don’t scream “we’re in this for the long haul.” A little “Harry Potter” marathon? Sure, why not.

Pro tip: Never suggest anything too intense. You don’t want to spend two hours explaining Inception when all you really want to do is get back to the cuddling part.

4. Stay Focused: Falling in Love is Not the Goal
Let’s be real—cuffing season has one main purpose: finding someone to help you pass the time until winter is over. It’s like an extended rental agreement with an expiration date. But here’s where it gets tricky: spend too much time together, and suddenly you’re talking about feelings, future plans, and whether or not you’re “official.”

This is where you need to stay sharp. If you’re not careful, you might actually start catching feelings. Don’t fall for the cozy vibes! The key to a successful cuffing season is to keep things light and fun. Remember, the clock is ticking, and when the snow melts, so should your temporary relationship.

If you feel yourself slipping, take a step back. Maybe suggest a social activity that involves friends (aka witnesses). The last thing you want is to come out of cuffing season with a full-blown relationship. No one wants to break up during allergy season—it’s just messy.

So, there you have it—the survival guide to cuffing season. Follow these tips, and you’ll be well on your way to a successful winter of cozy companionship, tasty snacks, and perfectly curated Netflix nights. Just remember: cuffing season is a seasonal sport, not a lifetime commitment. So stay focused, stay warm, and above all—don’t get too attached.

Spring is coming.