So, I’m dating this girl who used to be a UFC fighter. Yep, the real deal—cage matches, brutal takedowns, the whole nine yards. She had to retire after breaking her ankle, but let me tell you, that fighting spirit? It’s alive and kicking (pun intended).

Most of the time, she’s this sweet, bubbly ray of sunshine—think Disney princess vibes, complete with random singalongs and an obsession with butterflies. But every once in a while, I catch her describing in alarming detail what she could do to someone if they tick her off. It’s like watching a lion casually remind you it’s still a predator while purring on your lap.

Anyway, we recently had a heated argument. Nothing crazy, just your typical couple stuff, but she seemed really upset. A few days later, she casually suggested we spar in the ring “just for fun.” Now, on the surface, that might sound cute, right? But deep down, I can’t shake the feeling that she’s secretly plotting to body slam my soul and settle the score.

I politely declined, mumbling something about my “fragile elbows,” but now I’m stuck wondering: Am I being paranoid? Is she really holding a grudge and itching for payback? Or am I just jealous that she could knock me out cold with a single punch?