Welcome back to Jealous or Justified, Beautiful Machine’s thought-provoking and always unpredictable column where readers bring us their dilemmas, and we turn to you—our intelligent, open-minded audience—to help decide: are they being reasonable… or is something deeper at play?

This week, we’ve received one of the most unique, challenging letters in the history of this column. It’s intimate, complex, and layered in ways most of us will never experience—but still, it touches on universal themes of boundaries, respect, and the right to one’s body.

Let’s dive in.

⸻

Dear Beautiful Machine,

I’m one-half of a set of conjoined twins. We’re male, and we’ve been joined at the pelvis since birth. We have two heads, two minds, two hearts, but one body below the waist—which includes shared genitals and one anus.

Here’s where it gets complicated. My brother is gay. I’m straight. And while we’ve navigated so much in life together with mutual respect, our difference in sexual orientation has brought us to a painful crossroads.

Whenever he’s intimate with a man, I can feel it too. I don’t want to. I didn’t consent. It makes me feel violated, nauseated, and emotionally distressed. Imagine someone doing things to your body that you not only didn’t ask for, but actively wish would stop. I’ve explained how I feel, more than once. He says he’s entitled to a sex life. He says he’s not doing anything to me, but rather with someone else—and that I just happen to feel it because of our physical reality.

But I can’t help but feel like I’m being completely disregarded. I would never put him through the same experience. I feel like my autonomy is gone the second he decides to be intimate. Is that fair?

I love my brother. I’m not homophobic, and I don’t want to control his life. But what about mine? I can’t escape. I can’t block it out. And truthfully, it makes me feel sick—physically and emotionally.

Am I being selfish, overly sensitive, or controlling? Or am I justified in feeling like my brother is disrespecting the only physical boundary I have

Sincerely,
Split But Not Separate

⸻

Whew.

This is the kind of situation that tests the limits of empathy and understanding. While most of us can’t relate to being conjoined twins, many of us can relate to feeling unheard or violated, especially when it comes to bodily autonomy and personal comfort.

Here’s the question for you, Beautiful Machine readers:

Is the straight brother being too controlling—essentially jealous of his twin’s freedom and expression—or is he completely justified in feeling hurt, disrespected, and violated by what happens to their shared body?

And more importantly, is there a solution? Should there be boundaries in this rare but real situation? Could therapy, scheduling, or even celibacy be considered fair compromises—or are those just unrealistic expectations?

We want to hear your thoughts.

—Beautiful Machine Magazine